This post is part of the May herbal blog party, which will be hosted by Sean Donahue at Green Man Ramblings. Check his site on May 15th for a list of everyone’s posts on this month’s theme, Herbs for Sexual Health & Vitality.
The topic of sexual assault isn’t one that is often broached in polite conversation, but we needn’t pull up statistics to realize that it is a pervasive problem in our society. Whether this is part and parcel of an overarching culture of violence or a phenomena all on its own is debatable, and there are countless books and articles analyzing sexual assault from just about every aspect imaginable. In this post, I’d simply like to discuss some options for self-care following traumatic sexual assault. Since the effects can be long-lasting, “following” could be months or years after the event. And to be perfectly honest, there are several things I’d recommend before discussing herbal remedies, so I’m including all of them.
Trained Professionals
When dealing with immediate assault, referral to professionals (such as a rape crisis center) is always a good idea. Some survivors may seek medical and emotional care, and others may also wish to report the crime. This is an individual decision (that should be respected) and is well beyond the scope of this article. RAINN is a great resource. 
When interacting with someone in distress, it is difficult at times to not try to “fix things” right away. However, approaching a survivor with a laundry list of suggestions, as helpful as they may seem, is rarely the best approach. Simply listening, telling them how sorry you are and reminding them that it wasn’t their fault is often the best approach. Then, ask them what they need from you.
Somatics
Traditionally there has been a split in ideology between the sex-positive movement (which often ignores the topic of sexual trauma) and the sexual assault survival movement (which often ignores the topic of 
sexual pleasure). Staci Haines helps bridge the divide between the two with her wonderful work based on somatic (mind/body) methodology and provides a specific step-by-step approach towards healing and wholeness. Her book, Healing Sex (previously published as The Survivor’s Guide to Sex), and DVD of the same name are available through Clies Press and the Healing Sex: The Movie website. In addition, the Generative Somatics website is a great resource.
Therapy
Finding a good therapist can be incredibly helpful, so long as they have experience dealing with sexual assault survivors and there is resonance/rapport between the client and therapist. Therapists who are certified in cognitive restructuring or cognitive-behavioral therapy can be invaluable.
Anemone
There is no one herb that can really clear the shock of an assault, but there is one that seems to take things down a notch when dealing with flashbacks, numbness or gloominess, and that is anemone.
Whether you are using anemone pulsatilla or anemone tuberosa, be very careful not to overdo it. A drop may be all that is needed, and I’ve never used more than three. Anemone gently lifts the spirits and can help break through fear and depression. It works well for thin, cold-bodied vata types, but it can be unsettling for ”robust people with strong circulation,” (as herbalist Charlie Kane puts it). It is also contraindicated for pregnancy.
As a few readers know, I’m a big fan of the Heilkunst system of medicine for clearing trauma on a deep subconscious level. Treatment is administered sequentially under the guidance of a (certified) Heilkunstler who has attended a stringent 4-year program. I am not a Heilkunstler but would like to write about staphysagria, a remedy that is often indicated when there is any kind of violation (be it invasive surgery or sexual assault), as well as feelings of suppressed anger, guilt, humiliation and indignation. (Poppy is used for fear, lachesis for jealousy and ignatia or nat-m for feelings of loss, and remedies are often used in combination.)
Made from the seeds of Delphinium Staphisagria, the plant in full potency is toxic and used for killing vermin. The potentized (homeopathic) remedy is indicated when there is a history of abuse or misuse of power (be it physical, sexual or emotional) and the person who is suffering is unable to fight back. When used properly, staphysagria can clear the effects of this type of trauma on a deep level like nothing else I’ve seen.
Other approaches
I’ve heard anecdotes from survivors who have used EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) with mostly positive results. Might be worth looking into.
Again, my heart goes out to anybody who’s ever either experienced sexual assault or had to loved one affected by it. Remember that hope is available and healing is possible. Best on your path.
good post; I commend you for approaching the topic from this angle.
A few thoughts, based on experiences helping people through this…
Some kind of therapy really is important, though it needn’t be conventional (I’ve seen people do real well in ceremony – pick the spiritual tradition of your choice). The single most important thing here is probably rapport with the therapist/leader or facilitator. I’ve seen even really kind, very skilled practitioners set of people who are recovering from abuse simply because of some nuanced trigger… not necessarily that they were doing anything wrong or “not getting it”.
It’s helpful to ask people you might be working with “Do you feel safe?” and see if there’s anything you can do that would help them feel safer in a given situation.
I’ve had good results having people chew on small bits of calamus root for acute anxiety and flashbacks.
Also, good results using tincture of fresh milky oats and fresh nettles to help shift the people out of perpetual sympathetic excess. Ashwagandha for stress depletion and poor sleep from nightmares.
Another BIG concern is that if the person recovering from the abuse is in a relationship, that’s going to add a whole ‘nother dynamic, and one with huge impact. Hawthorne would probably be good in drop doses, but that would need to be addressed. The partner involved is likely to be going through his/her own ordeal, which is also going to be extremely difficult. Knowing what’s going on in the relationship matters a lot, and having the partner seek support is important. Sometimes having the same practitioner for both partners doesn’t work.
Really good post, yael.
Interesting. The folks I know who have tried to get help through ceremony really did need therapy as an adjunct and in fact I think found it more disappointing than anything–they were expecting a cure-all that just wasn’t there. I think each modality can provide a layer of healing… with some going deeper than others.
I don’t know if I’d use nettles or ashwaganda myself. Nervines (oats, verbena) or even tulsi, yeah. Maybe lemon balm–but it depends on the situation… Ashwaganda I’ve found can be exacerbating and do the opposite of what it’s used for. Never thought of hawthorn… interesting.
The Staci Haines book is awesome in discussing how to support the survivor’s partner.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Ceremony certainly isn’t gonna be a cure all, and like you I’ve seen it do some people no good at all, but know others for whom it was the one piece that was missing. Most of this has been in inipi ceremonies, run by people they’ve known long and trust deeply. I’ve never seen any lasting resolution from isolated “releasing” ceremonies I’ve known some people to try.
Fresh nettle tincture is one of my favorite herbs for sympathetic excess states; seems to help shift one back towards feeling safe in parasympathetic mode (rather than suddenly, when one realizes “their guard is down”, jumping past sympathetic and into fight/flight/freak/freeze…
Really interested in checking out The Healing Sex book as a resource for people; it’s been awhile since I’ve looked over these books, and the last time I did I thought the lack of info on reclaiming sexuality was distressing… good to know there’s something new that’s addressing this.
Is the DVD worth checking out in addition to the book?
The book has actually been around for a long time; it was first released under the title The Survivor’s Guide to Sex. I first happened across it in the late ’90s. I have not seen the DVD but have heard great things.
A great piece yael, and perhaps needed now even more than ever.
The morning dew collected off of Lady’s mantle, right in the center of the rosette, is another great essence for abuse and reclaiming sexuality. I especially like women to collect it themselves, forging an ongoing relationship with the flower.
Sounds lovely!