Dear Eau Claire,
I’m afraid we’ve started off on the wrong foot. I’m not sure how this started, but I think it had something to do with you antagonizing me by burying my car under a foot of snow immediately upon my arrival, when I was still living in a hotel without so much as an ice scraper. For my own part, perhaps my constantly comparing you to Tucson–and taunting you with all the ways in which you fell short–didn’t help the situation any.
Seeing as we’re stuck together, I really am trying my hardest to make the best of the situation. I know that you prefer commitment, and my jaunts to Minneapolis are probably not helping my cause. It’s just that the city has things you simply lack–such as decent independent bookstores, cafes that are open late, people that aren’t white, and a little bit of culture.
I realize, however, that you’ve really tried to throw me a bone–or several. Perhaps I am being picky, or maybe it’s just that you don’t know me very well… because everything you give me seems fatally flawed in some way. You brought me local comedy, but the comedians were racist and offensive and not all that funny. You pointed out a cheap movie theater to me, but everything we’ve seen there kind of sucked. You found me a master gardening class, but I’ve been bored to tears trying to stay awake there–not to mention getting ridiculously lost in the parking lot.
Dare I go on? There’s a lovely co-op in town, but I can’t afford to shop there. You found me some lovely places to host workshops, but nobody has signed up for any of them–even with a TV appearance! There is a neat local magazine, but they do not pay their writers. I found a Local Food Summit, but the amazingly cool people I met were all from out of town. I’ve met cool people locally, but none of them seem to have the time or desire to hang out with me. You showed me a jiu jitsu gym, but I feel pretty out of place there–and there’s no other girls.
There’s more. I went to an acidified foods workshop, only to learn it was lacto-fermentation I was looking for. You found me an affordable apartment, but the dishwasher doesn’t really work, and I’m really missing basic needs like fresh air and sunshine. You found me a bank near my house, but the manager thought it was okay to simply cross out the incorrect account number on my checks and handwrite the correct one, because she thought I wasn’t going to use them. You’ve provided activities, but they aren’t really my style. I mean, barstool racing? Seriously?
As much as I like to think of myself as a locavore, it is not lost on me that all of my income is coming from places like New York and California, where my writing is appreciated. You’ve even found me some places to apply for work, but all prospects have fizzled and died, making it difficult not to spiral into depression.
I will admit that you’ve done a good job providing food. Grassfed beef at $5.50/lb. is pretty dang impressive, and I’ve found all sorts of rare commodities like chicken feet and celeriac and venison and rutabaga. A tiny indoor farmer’s market once a month is challenging when I’m used to a huge one weekly, but it’s something. And though I have to get my real milk through a dealer and don’t know where it’s coming from, the raw milk in this here dairy state is pretty amazing. And the beer… no complaints there.
Eau Claire, I will try to give you another shot. I will try not to burst in tears at the lack of an all-night diner like I did at Infinitea when they told me they were closing and gave me my puer in a to-go cup. I will attempt not to sulk endlessly and refuse to leave my house. I will try not to bring up your disappointing lack of Perfect Food Bars. I won’t tell you that I’m going to the co-op in Menomonie, or getting acupuncture in Minnesota, or ordering Shea Moisture soap online. After all, I can’t expect you to provide everything I need in our relationship, and with your permission, I can respectfully get unmet needs fulfilled elsewhere.
With spring, you are bringing me a bit of hope. A new cafe is opening which is promising to have late-night hours. I long for nights spent typing away until employees turn off the lights and give me dirty looks as I quickly gather my belongings. With the warmer weather, I’ll actually be able to hang out in my garden plot and play in the dirt and sunshine. I’m even going to hang out at a CSA! There is a maple taping workshop this very weekend and I love that the sap is rising in the trees. And I’m aware that I want things like all-night diners simply because I’ve gotten used to them–not because they are necessary. In fact, all of my goals are attainable from within your (tiny) walls… from freelance writing for publications far far away, to improving my jiu jitsu game (which is nothing to write home about), to learning where my food comes from and even growing my own. You even have workshops with experts I can learn from–Radiant Living Ayurveda and Yoga, and the Beaver Creek Preserve, not to mention both a jiu jitsu gym and a box gym which actually has decent equipment. Even the chain bookstore has most of what I need.
Eau Claire, my lease runs out next winter. That gives you the spring, summer and fall to remind me why I wanted to leave Tucson. Something about trees and water and seasons. It gives you time to show me that you can, in fact, offer me something that isn’t fatally flawed. It gives you time to prove to me that Midwestern friendliness is ever-present, and supercedes the dozens of people I’ve attempted to reach out to that simply don’t call or e-mail me back. It gives you time to show me that you don’t really have something against me simply because I didn’t grow up here, and that people in town will still associate with me even though I didn’t attend their middle school. It gives you months–months–to try to win me back so that I don’t run away to somewhere closer to St. Paul. The ball’s in your court, Eau Claire. Whatcha got?
Sincerely,
Yael Grauer
I’m about 60 miles east of you, but I have visited good old Eau Claire plenty of times in the past few decades and it sounds like it has not changed from your description. A lot of towns are like that in Wisconsin. The thing is everyone in my family, my brothers and sisters, my children, many of my aunts and uncles, grandparents, my husband’s relatives all moved on to other places, other locations, and eventually adapted to their new homes. I also moved from from a highly populated area to this area that has few people and it is a very different way of living, I think, but it’s also wonderful. I still don’t always feel like I fit in though because I did not grow up right here or go to school right here. You know, if I went back to the place where I was born and raised, I wouldn’t fit in there anymore either because everything there has changed.
All I can say is you haven’t been here long enough to adapt and assimilate yet. Once the weather warms up, it would be great if you would visit the little towns in your region and even take some of the gravel roads to visit the really rural out-of-the-way farms and businesses because there is a heck of a lot more to Wisconsin than Eau Claire or the highways that link it to other cities. I guess I’m saying you should become an expert on your surroundings, your environment, and even its history. Whatever you do to make yourself feel comfortable in your new setting, do it with joy and freedom. Everything is relatively new to you yet and you have to make those changes to fit this particular environment because it isn’t, and can’t be, the same as your hometown.
Thanks for your comment! I can relate to the not fitting in feeling… I have never lived anywhere over seven years so don’t really feel like I have a home. But I grew up in the suburbs and had that same restricted feeling I have here. I do think it’s important to become an expert in one’s surroundings. However, I don’t think everyone can always assimilate/adapt to a different area–sometimes they’re just not suited for it. I’ve certainly lived remotely (heck, I spent four months living in a tent in the desert) but have kind of grown accustomed to the amenities of a bigger city. And even though there’s things here I love, I don’t think I’ll ever get beyond tolerating it. But only time will tell.
My boyfriend’s from St. Cloud, and he has a list of places he wants to take me when it gets nicer. We’ve been to Fall Creek for a workshop on tree ID (which I blogged about) but other than that… and Menomonie… we haven’t seen much yet, it’s true.
A lot of folks around where I live have to utilize their homes and/or property to get their personal needs met because they are just not available at all in the community. In other words, the amenities are not out there for public access but might be available in individual homes. I mean, people have their own food supplies in most cases (deep freezers are very common here), provide their own entertainment at home, and they often provide, or at least have available, hobby materials/equipment. A lot of people also keep exercise equipment because it can be difficult to be outdoors in the winter. One of my neighbors loves opera, so she has her own personal music collection of that. Most of my friends have books all over their houses. We have a few musical instruments and a few other things that are of interest to us. It is kind of hard to find other people who have the exact same interests anyway, so any person anywhere might have to resort to home activities or even home learning. I do agree that some things like good museums, art, plays, etc., are pretty lean.
Part of these issues you have come across (like the lack of late night activities) are related to our climate, I think. We have had really nice winters the past few years, but I can recall years with some doozies. There is no way any store/business is going to stay open late and potentially have employees and customers stuck inside the building overnight. It is also way too dangerous for an employee or customer to end up stuck on their way home in some snowdrift. When you get terrible weather, customers don’t pour into a business or stay all night, and it’s a waste of money to heat, light, and pay employee wages for limited customer patronage. It’s also a little difficult for parking lot or road maintenance to remove snow or deice when vehicles are in the way. We as residents don’t like the fact that stores aren’t open 24/7 either because we need to use them too. This winter has been just a joy for us because we didn’t have to worry as much about ice, stalled vehicle engines, chapped lips, runny noses, and fun stuff like that. Most years, we pretty much hibernate to stay away from those problems, but this winter wasn’t bad.
I’m really glad your boyfriend is willing to take you around this neck of the woods. That will be great for you. The more life experiences you have, the better. Minnesota and Wisconsin are very similar as far as plants and climate and the people in Minnesota are wonderful, so I hope he will be sharing that side of the Mississippi with you too.
After thinking about it, I think you are sort of becoming assimilated a bit because you already see and know some of the nuances of the people, the community, the issues, the lifestyle, etc. To me, it seems like you’ve picked that information up pretty fast. You may not be able to deal with it as some of this may drive you nuts for the rest of your life, but you may be able to avoid those annoying things because you are so aware of the issues. To me, the highest priorities are things like locations with no tornadoes, earthquakes, or floods. I can deal with anything else.
Yes, I’m aware that I can cook myself eggs and bacon at midnight or drink coffee at home, but part of the purpose of wanting to go to a cafe or diner late at night is the atmosphere. So I don’t really consider it a substitute. Of course I keep my own food and know how to entertain myself. It is the variety of cultural activities available in bigger cities, however, that are pretty irreplaceable. That is why we escape to the Cities.
Interesting about stores closing early because of weather! Though to be honest, I haven’t noticed much of a difference in weather between 8pm and 10pm.
Always up for more life experiences, though I do have plenty! I’ve lived in three countries and seven states and traveled all over the world. I feel that it is because of (not despite of) my life experiences that I’m seeking something more that simply isn’t available here. I can’t change my own personal preferences and interests at the drop of the hat. As far as things driving me nuts for the rest of my life–it ain’t gonna happen because we’re not planning on staying in this area for more than three years, max. And two would be just about right. This move was always temporary. And I can’t imagine staying somewhere I didn’t absolutely love any longer than necessary. I think that’s probably the biggest difference between me and the people who live here, who either love it or are resigned to it. My goal, however, is not “assimilation”–I plan on keeping my unique preferences and distinct love of things like culture and nightlife (if that’s what you call wanting to sit in a cafe open past 8). I’m making the best of it, but simply can’t imagine replacing my favorite things with deep freezers and indoor hobbies!
Good conversation, both here and through e-mails. I’m enjoying the comments, and all the different perspectives and places people are coming from.
Thanks for the honorary mention! I really identify with this piece. I felt like an alien in Eau Claire for a long time! That feeling comes back every once in a while and then leaves again like the ocean tides and the seasons.
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